Against Sex Positivity: A First Draft Of A Likely Shitstorm

Not Yr Cister reposts this lovely little gem of despair from the wondrous negationparty at the same time we discover our most recent reblogging of “Towards an Insurrectionary Transfeminism,” which has an attached comment reading: “BULLSHIT. MY UTERUS IS NOT CONSTRUCTED AND IT CANNOT BE BOUGHT. Take your intellectual masturbation and shove it up your ass. I cannot imagine anything more offensive than to deny the objective reality of my female reproductively functioning BODY and its relevancy to my FUCKING LIFE. Denying female reality is misogyny of the highest order.” With this comment in mind, enjoy this essay and perhaps discover why, on the contrary, we find the “functioning BODY” incredibly relevant to “FUCKING LIFE”, with a mighty emphasis on the “FUCKING” side of things.

xo sex won’t save us,



My life is one ordered almost entirely under a regime of “sex positivity,” and it is still a life lived under patriarchy. The sex positive has failed in its mission, because of its fundamental failure to implicate the deepest structures of patriarchy. It was smart to negate the sexuality pushed by some feminists – to fuck as if separatism can truly ever be enacted. It seems almost obvious by now that sex work and sex trade and pornography should not be especially stigmatized and that slut shaming is no radical option. But patriarchal relations keep happening, among the most “sex positive” no less than anyone else. I find myself in a position similar to many 70s feminists; just as free love was a lie, sex positivity is a lie.

I have been a part of so many accountability processes that have desperately sought to leave the world of identity politics, of “oppressor raped/assaulted/bad fucked oppressed person,” and because of the deep taboo against “going there” could not implicate the structure of sex itself. The specter of “positive sexuality” remained and the discourse remained stuck in a moral/political imperative to purge “negative sexuality.”

Amongst radicals, queers no less than anarchy-bros, there remains the deeply held belief that I am “naturally” going to have sex, and as such am available to have sex. I am valorized because I am beautiful, because I am young, because I am white, because I am kinky, because I am promiscuous. Because I am pretty and I fuck, I either have value there for the taking, am expected to “enjoy” another’s value, or am expected to switch between the two roles. Likewise, those bodies seen as unwanted or unavailable are systematically excluded and shit talked.

I am surrounded by the gaping holes of sex positivity and as such, where a certain remnant of “positivity” is not useful, seek to abandon it in its entirety, and in doing so must abandon any attachment to sex as something good.

We condemn even the most consensual sex for being the gendered event

it is. Regardless of how seductive each little object might be, our focus

remains the narrative, the totality of social relations: constitutive lack.”

Letters to Chris Kraus: Kiss Me, Fuck Me, Or Rape Me

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