Hello friends, family, comrades, and whoever might read this.
I started this wepay page in hopes of raising and saving up money in order to pay for various medical, surgical, and transition-related life expenses. I’ll just assume you don’t know me, or don’t know much about me, and give the easy explanation:
I’ve been hormonally transitioning for the last three and a half years. During that time I’ve lived in 4 different states, I’ve been in and out of employment, and I’ve had to go off hormones about three or four times. Each of those times has been worse than the last, not just in terms of body dysphoria that is very real and pervasive in my life, but also simply because going off of anti-androgens causes me to become severely physically ill. In roughly one month I will lose my current doctor and my prescription for anti-androgens and estrogen.
If you are aware of my internet presence, you’ve probably read me being critical of dominant trans narratives and essentialized trans experiences, or maybe even the whole label of “trans*”, and I do maintain those critiques. I maintain the abolition of gender as a ideological belief; I don’t want to have to make the usual appeals to standard forms of trans*-ness in order to take care of myself and be happy with my body or my life. However, I can also honestly say that the changes brought about by hormonal transition have been congruent with how I want to feel and look in my body, and after two years of debating on the subject of surgery I am now certain these next steps are what I want and what will help me feel less unhappy and disgusting in my body and in this world. These next steps include an orchiectomy (surgical castration) and electrolysis (facial hair removal). Having these done will greatly reduce my dependency on hormones, doctors, and other terrors of the medical industry, and also help ease the dysphoria of my bodily experience.
An orchiectomy specifically means I’ll never have to take Progesterone again if I don’t want to, and if I don’t go off Spironolactone completely, it will at least greatly reduce my daily dosage to something along the lines of 1/8 of what I’m currently taking. This will be a huge change for me; not only are these medicines expensive, they also take a heavy toll on my body, and have caused me to be sick in the past, not to mention the general unpleasantness of being on a diuretic. I will also have to take a much smaller dose of estrogen, which will again lower my monthly medical expenses.
I do not want to place any kind of special emphasis on my situation: there are people out there who are much worse off than me, and I would ask that if you have little to no money, or you’re not excited about helping me out, give some money instead to one of the numerous gay, queer, or trans prisoners out there. These struggles are much more important.
If you donate, I’ll be happy to write you a letter, draw a picture, send you something sweet in the mail, etc. If you’re in the area where I live, or if by some grace I end up in the area you live, I’ll be happy to give a more personal form of thanks, whatever you’d like, be it a Tarot Reading, a Magickal Ritual, I’ll read you a bedtime story, give you a tattoo, or make bad choices with you. In fact, if you want to pay for all of it, I’ll give you my fucking balls in a jar. You can do some freaky magick with them. Whatever works. Please feel free to repost/reblog and spread the word.
Eternal Trust, Solidarity, rage, AND BLESSED BE